Finally back...

Well, not back home yet, but at least a new post. Mississippi was great. Vegas was fun. Now we're here in Cincinnati spending a few days with family before we finally head back to the great and wonderful state of West Virginia.

Now something for you're listening enjoyment. Wayne would be proud I'm sure...party on.

Dilbert Blog Day

Still here in Mississippi fixing up houses and sleeping in a gym on army issue cots, so not much of a post today.  In the meantime might I suggest this selection from the Dilbert blog for your reading pleasure.  I feel like I’ve stayed in this same exact hotel room sometime in a former life…or maybe it was only a few weeks ago…

FEMA

Wow, the damage here is worse than I thought. In the meantime, here is something more lighthearted.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/hurricanekatrina/a/katrinajokes.htm

Also, members of our group are posting to http://blog.zionepiscopal.net we have some pictures there.

In Mississippi...

I'll try to keep the posts coming while we're down here in Mississippi. We're at Camp Coast Care
rebuilding homes this week. We had a nice trip down here but the real work starts tomorrow. But just to give you something to laugh at here's a picture of the place where we had lunch yesterday.

Where Are They Now? - Web Version

I love the VH1 show. You know the one. Where they show how one-hit wonders from the eightes are now working at fast food restaurants and still talking about how the eightes are going to make a comeback. Besides the fact that time travel is not yet possible I find their lossened grip on reality highly entertaining. Which got me thinking, the eighties of pop music must be like the 2002's of pop internet.

So I decided to find some stuff that I remember liking way back then before youtube even existed. Imagine that!

Remember Joe Cartoon? Evidently he's still around and making cartoons. And Joel Veitch? His site doesn't seem to want to come this morning. Anway, if you think of some more stuff that used to be huge like 4 or 5 years ago and now is totally forgotten about let me know and maybe we can resurrect some careers and keep people out of the fast food industry. Of course with the increased minimum wage here in the states even those jobs are starting to look attractive.

Weddings In Vegas

Ever been to Las Vegas?
Ever been to a wedding in Las Vegas?
Ever been to a wedding in Las Vegas with an Elvis impersonator presiding and then everyone skydives out of a replica of the Hindenburg that is actually on fire and lands in an all-you-can-eat restaurant where hungry lions walk over your head supported by a glass ceiling?

Yes, No, and No for me, but my brother is getting married there in a week and I'm invited. I think it's a fantastic idea, though I was sorry to hear that there will not be an actual Elvis impersonator at the wedding.

If I were going to get married in Vegas I'd have to go all out do something like the Hindenburg stunt. Or else one of these more "traditional" options.

The Elvis Wedding - make sure to check out the thank you letter from a customer at the bottom. Really makes it sound special.

Helicopter Wedding - This is pretty cool. Especially if you don't want to have to invite many people. Looks like there's a weight limit also, so no big boys and girls allowed. I think it could be better by making it an Airwolf Wedding.

Drive Thru Wedding! Just this quote from the site is enough. "Our Drive Thru Tunnel Of Love has recently been expanded to include a romantic ceiling with cherubs and starlights. Perfect for a unique, yet romantic ceremony."

Star Trek Wedding - If you're more comfortable commicating with members of the opposite sex in Romulan rather than English you may enjoy this.

Bush's New and Improved Iraq Plan

Sounds like were going to need more troops. Good thing, cause the thought of Iraq spiraling out of control and become a hotbed of car bombs, kidnappings, suicide attacks and IED's is just too much to bear....These new troops will surely keep that from happening. The President didn't mention it in his speech, but I heard that one of the 20,000 additional soldiers going to Iraq would be Mike Tyson. Now that's what I'm talking about. He just get's himself in trouble here at home. Let him loose to kick some Shiite ass....or is it Sunni ass? Whatever, just tell him to whip anyone who looks at him funny or seems to be carrying a bunch of hotdogs under their shirt.

Luckily it looks like there's going to be plenty of new recruits available also to make up for the rest of the new bunch. Read on here.

Drawing A Perfect Circle

Sure, you could use cup or a bowl as a template. You could use a computer. You could even use a compass. But if you're really good and you want to impress people then freehand is the only way to go. This guy must get all the ladies.

Ouch...

So my prediction was a little off. Luckily, there's always next year. Congrats to Florida for kicking the living crap out of my buckeyes. Maybe this will get them in better mental shape for next season.

I think I'm finally going to go and get my crappy cell phone replaced today. Let this be a warning to you. When you go to upgrade your phone or add a new line there is usually at least one model of phone that is free. There's a reason it's free. Because it sucks. I have this Nokia where the buttons are only ornamental. They have numbers on them, but when you press something it's like a little video slot machine. Stuff comes up on the screen, but you don't know what it will be and you can only hope for the desired outcome.

BCS Title Game Tonight!

Let's Go Bucks!

My prediction for the game tonight: OSU: 41 FLA: -7

Where's Winter?

If you're in Colorado your answer is probably something like "It's piled up 10 foot high outside my front door you idiot."

However, where I am we've had an unusually warm season. Last Saturday it was almost 70 degrees...in early January! When it's not super warm it just hangs around 45-55 degrees. It reminds me of a guy I met at my cousin's wedding this summer. He and his wife have lived in Maine for decades, but were getting ready to move to North Carolina. He said that life was good back in the days where they actually had winter in Maine. Tons of snow. Lakes would freeze over. Life was generally a winter wonderland for 4 months or more. Now, he says, there's no snow and the weather is just rainy and shitty all winter. I'm still not sure why moving to North Carolina is better but that is beside the point.

I prefer to look on the sunny side of life and wonder what life will be like here in the hills of West Virginia with no more winter....

-no more packing away all those winter clothes.
-year round flip flop wearing.
-palm tree landscaping.
-less people inviting me to go skiing and/or snowboarding. (I find the sport pleasing to watch, but painful to actually do)
-new olympic sports like "How long can you stay in the sun?"
-4 wheel drive no longer necessary. In fact, you probably could get away with one wheel drive.
-replace the traditional egg nog with mango daqiri.
-more backyard bbq's.

and let us all be thankful for getting rid of those home heating bills. Energy sucking air conditioning only!

The Subway Superman

Many of you have already heard or read or watched a news story about this guy. I don't know what angels are exactly, but if they sometimes show up as random people in life, then this is a good example. A wonderful inspirational story for the new year, though I don't suggest you make "jump into path of oncoming train in order to save someone" one of your resolutions.

Hooray For Long Legs

Being a tall person definitely has it's challenges in life. Buying clothes, riding on buses, smacking my head on various doorways and drain pipes in my own house. In fact, sometime I think that I should just quit pretending to look normal and wear a helmut every day. Forget the fashionable clothes and just get a big old pair of overalls. Forget crowding into coach class and just fork out the cash to sit my big helmut wearing overall sporting butt in first class.

But once in a while it does come in handy. Next week, for instance, Liz and I are taking a trip with about 8 other people down to Mississippi to rebuild houses. Kind of like a Habitat for Humanity kind of thing. Rather than have to cram in the minibus, the group decided that I get to ride in the compfy car that's also making the trip because of how tall I am. Sure, they had some self-interest. Me in car = no room for anyone else. Or maybe they just don't want to be seen riding in a mini-bus with a guy in a helmut and overalls. People might think we're special.

Things You Don't Want To Hear When You're Naked

We're all vulnerable enough with our clothes on, but there are just some things that you really don't want to hear when your naked.

1. Your full name. Even if it happens during intimacy, it's just not something you want to hear.

2. "Would you mind picking up that bar of soap for me?"

3. Any mention of working out, going to the gym, or dieting.

4. "May the Lord be with you...."

5. "Quick, somebody call a personal trainer!"

6. "Would you mind putting some more clothes on? You're creeping me out"

7. "It's your mom on the phone!"

8. Any sentence with the words "police" or "attack dog."

9. Someone tapping on your window.

10. "Excuse me, you need to pay for your tab now. We're about to close."

2007 Is Here!

First post in a few days. I would apologize to all my readers for the lack of posts, but hey, I do this for free and the amount of money I make on the ad revenue for this blog would just about pay for one piece of chewing gum per week.

My wife and I spent much of yesterday recuperating and cleaning up after our big new years party. Our theme this year was "The Price Is Right." I think everyone had a great time and when you go through about 12 bottles of champagne just for the midnight toast it can't be that bad of a party.

I didn't bother setting up a television this year to watch the ball drop. Instead, I just had the laptop running on the kitchen table which showed the count down. A couple volunteers counted off the last minute before the dance party could really kick off.

But overall it was a total success. No fights. No one fell over and broke a coffee table (think Chris Farley). And we didn't run out of anything.

It's also a nice feeling to know that the holidays are actually over and normal life can resume. But who really wants life to be normal? I guess I could start planning next year's party now and get together a whole new list of stuff to do in order to get ready for it.