Top 10 Reasons Why The Buckeyes Will Beat The Wolf People

As Tiny Elvis would have said, "Look at that college game....that game is HUUUGE!!!"

Although I currently reside in West Virginia, I grew up in Ohio and still consider myself a buckeye fan. I know the "buckeye" isn't the most intimidating mascot in the world of college sports, but what are you going to do? It's the state nut...or fruit...or whatever a buckeye is. Actually, real buckeyes are pretty pointless. You can't eat them because they're poisonous. However, chocolate and peanut butter buckeyes are delicious. If you've never had them, just go to any store in Ohio and they can probably hook you up with some. Or make your own.

I'm going to lay it out there today and predict that the Buckeyes will defeat the little wolf people tomorrow 27-17. For the following reasons:

1. As I said earlier, buckeyes are poisonous. Even if the wee little rodent folks eat one, they will soon die and wither because of it's poisonous wrath.
2. Jim Tressel's (OSU Coach) first words when he was 2 years old were "Beat Michigan" This was quickly followed by his first utterance of "momma" and "papa".
3. A secret crocodile pit has been installed on the Michigan sideline...crocodiles love wolf meat.
4. OSU plans on using a new remote controlled football developed by their science department. It will allow Troy Smith to fly his passes directly to his receivers. Michigan can use this football too, but only Troy has the remote...and he's not sharing.
5. The game will be in Columbus, OH where a new city ordinance is in effect which requires all football teams from the state of Michigan to play without shoes.
6. The new Michigan uniforms might be a problem.
7. While touchdowns for OSU will count for the normal 6 points, touchdowns for Michigan will not count because the referees will somehow not see them...any of them. Don't believe me? Did you see OSU beat Miami a few years ago?
8. The state of Michigan has 2 halves and everyone knows that a state divided cannot beat anything from Ohio.
   
9. OSU has better offense, defense, special teams, coaches, line, backs, receivers, security guards, cheerleaders, dance squad, fans, marching band, stadium food, beer, tail gate parties, athletics, academics and shipping costs.
10. Ohio State will have a surprise substitution if needed late in the game.

So there you have it. No matter the fact that we all know what the outcome will be because of all the irrefutable evidence listed above, the game should be fun to watch anyway.